Friday 22 April 2011

Revealed: Scrumpy's secret life

I've never officially named the miserable rabbit in this cartoon - he's usually just refereed to as 'that miserable rabbit'. Well, his real name is Scrumpy Jack and he's named after a real miserable rabbit that an ex-girlfriend of mine once had.

Scrumpy was a rescue rabbit, a huge white lop eared beast. He lived at a private all girls boarding school in the heart of the countryside, where my ex taught English. He got a lot of attention, was adored by all, and he was as miserable as sin.

My ex thought he might be lonely, so she got him a companion, Stella, a small dark vivacious bunny who was as sunny and lively as Scrumpy was miserable. Stella would bound around the hut they shared, while Scrumpy would remain motionless in the middle of the floor, willing everyone to go away. The addition of two guinea pigs to the menagerie, Malibu and Pineapple didn't help matters.

Then, one Christmas, I was asked to look after Scrumpy over the holidays. Scrumpy was given the run of my flat, and I discovered what gave him joy in life. Cholmondeley, Smudge's sister, an enormous sixteen pound British Blue, was terrified of Scrumpy. And boy, did Scrumpy know it. Scrumpy would chase Cholmondeley all around the flat until Cholmondeley hid on top of the wardrobe. He'd then wait for him until he came down...

Merry Easter everyone. Here in Britain we're starting a run of Bank Holidays. We have Good Friday, Easter Monday, The Blessed EventTM and May Day happening in quick succession. Have a great time, wherever you are.

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